My main anxiety trigger is something it feels like I’m constantly experiencing in my life: change. Change manifests in so many ways, both good and bad. Anything from big purchases to moving to new pregnancies and babies…so basically, the last 2 1/2 years of my life have been a nonstop anxiety trigger for me! Here is a shortlist of the big changes I’ve gone through since 2016:

• First son was born
• Hubby was let go
• Pregnant with second son
• Moved across country, lived with in-laws
• New job for hubby, new home for us
• Hubby was let go
• Had a baby
• New job for hubby
• New job for me
• Hubby was let go
• Moved in with my family
• New job for hubby
• Moved into a barn (new home)

I don’t tell you this to ask for pity, because it has actually been really good and I’ve grown so much closer to my God and learned a lot about trusting Him in this season of big changes. I’m telling you my story because I want to be a support to those of you who can relate by sharing what I’ve been through and what I’ve learned that may help you in similarly chaotic seasons.

Understanding Why You’re Anxious

It took me a long time to figure out that change was a trigger for me, but knowing what it is that triggers anxiety for you is a big part of learning how to work through it. The more I’ve learned about myself and the reasons behind my anxiety, the more I’ve been able to figure out how to cope and process through it in the moment. I’ve also realized that a lot of it is rooted in my sin nature and in not giving things up to God.

Needing Control

Change is triggering for me because it makes me feel out of control. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m type-A, but I do like to have things in order and I like to know that I have authority over whatever is happening in my life (this is 100% pride, by the way). So when things happen beyond my control, like job losses or babies not sleeping, I feel overwhelmed. My heart starts racing, I’m short of breath, I have trouble focusing my thoughts, and fight-or-flight kicks in and tells me I need to either yell and push people away or run away and isolate myself. I tend to lash out at those around me too, so it’s hard for my husband and others close to me to really know how to support me in the moment.

Letting Go of Shame

You’re not a bad mom/wife/employee/friend/child/sibling/person if you deal with anxiety. You’re not a failure if you need counseling or medication (I use both!).

If you know someone with a serious illness or injury, you’re not going to be mad at them if they’re too sick to hang out. It’s called mental illness for a reason, so if you need some time alone or need to take a sick day because you just can’t function around other people, it’s okay.

HOWEVER.

If you’re sick, you take medicine. If you’re healing from an injury, you go to physical therapy. In the same way, you need to seek help if you really want to be able to work through your anxiety and learn to manage it. It may never fully go away in the same way a broken leg heals, but you can learn to cope and figure out your limits with a little external support.

Don’t assume you’re fine because you’re having a good day/week/month/year. Anxiety can creep up when you least expect it, and it’s actually really good to prepare yourself to handle it during the good seasons when you’re better able to communicate and advocate for yourself, rather than waiting until you’re too overwhelmed to ask for help!

A Note for Moms

As moms, it’s easy to think we don’t have time to take care of ourselves the way we need to (mom guilt, anyone?), but it’s so important, especially when you deal with anxiety!

You always have the time to take five minutes for prayer and deep breathing. It may not feel like it in the moment, but you do and it’s not selfish to take that time! Settle you kiddos with some toys or a snack (or heck, a TV show. A little television won’t kill them), go into your room or the bathroom or step out onto the front porch and spend a few minutes with the Lord. You’ll be able to parent so much better if you can take a short break to get yourself in the right headspace on the hard days.

Postpartum Depression

PPD is a whole different ballgame, although some of the same practices can definitely help. But if you’re struggling with PPD or even just some baby blues, I highly recommend talking to your doctor and looking into counseling! I sought counseling for my postpartum depression with my firstborn, and that’s where I learned a lot of the tools I still use today to work through anxiety attacks and overwhelming seasons.

De-escalating the Panic

When you’re panicking, you’re not in a place to problem-solve or figure out why you’re having anxiety. If you try to figure out what’s wrong, you’ll just get frustrated (and ultimately, more anxious) as you struggle to understand why you feel this way.

You need to de-escalate before you’re ready to tackle the real problem triggering your anxiety. A great way to do this is to have a go-to bible verse, prayer, or phrase that is short and easy to focus on. Repeat it over and over again, out loud if possible, to help refocus your thoughts on a powerful, positive truth. Take a deep breath in between each phrase to help your heart rate slow down and bring your physical body to a calmer place.

Here are some of my go-to scriptures to get you started:

• Psalm 46:10a - “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God.‘”
• Psalm 23:4a - “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
• 2 Timothy 1:7 - “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”
• Psalm 147:3 - “He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
• Hebrews 13:5b - “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

When in Doubt, Pray

Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even remember any of these verses, so I just pray. Usually it’s something like, “God, help me to breathe” or “Lord, give me peace.” Just something short and simple declaring my need for God and giving me something to focus on. I also have a playlist of songs that are soothing for me to listen to and help me slow down.

What are your go-to bible verses or calming phrases that help you when you’re overwhelmed or anxious?