Since the end of August, my little family of four has been living in a barn. Literally. What once was a horse barn has had the loft converted into a few bedrooms, a shower added to the bathroom downstairs, and one of the stalls converted into a pseudo-kitchen. We’ve been blessed with very inexpensive rent and the care of this family who own this barn as we’ve looked for a more permanent rental home on Whidbey Island (FYI, not an easy feat).

Now that we will be moving out next month, I’ve been reflecting back on this…interesting season in our lives. What I’ve learned about myself, about how you have to adapt in more rustic living situations, and ultimately about God’s character and the blessings that come when you seek His will.

Here are five lessons I’ve learned while literally raising my children in a barn these last few months.

1. I am not a flexible person.

I like routines. I like structures. It’s really hard to have stable routines when you have to go to someone else’s house every time you need to do laundry or give your kids a bath, or when you never know when you’ll next see a spider in the shower or the bedroom or the kitchen, or when your kids get into the dirt and dust and track it all over your only semi-nicely carpeted room…but that’s life in a barn! You have to be flexible and ready to adjust accordingly at all times. And that is not me. But I’m learning quickly to be flexible as I’m seeing how inflexible I am. It’s been extremely difficult but also extremely good to see God at work in me, forming my character to make me a more patient wife, mom, and homemaker.

2. God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt!

My kids sometimes have to go two or three days without baths because we don’t have a tub here, just a shower. We can shower with them, especially our oldest, but the shower is very small even for one person, and with our youngest it would be a lot trickier to keep him from crawling out while dripping wet. We try to go to my parents’ house every other day to give the boys baths, but some days I just can’t get over there on bath day, so they stay dirty a little longer.

It’s also really hard to keep the floors clean when you live in a barn! The bulk of the downstairs, including the kitchen and where we eat, is not insulated and has big gaps under the barn doors for dirt and bugs to come venturing inside (we had a couple of worms come visit on a particularly rainy day earlier this week. Ew.) The floor down there is just concrete and there are dust bunnies and dirt and cobwebs everywhere. Given all this, I’ve just had to accept that my kids are going to be dirty, and it’s not that big a deal. But speaking of creepy crawlies…

3. Spiders come with the territory…

When you live in a barn, you will never be rid of the spiders. Kill one spider, ten more will come to seek vengeance. It’s impossible to keep this place clean of spiders, which is definitely not my favorite experience. My husband refers to it as “immersion therapy” for this arachnophobe. I even have a pet spider now (sort of). His name is Spider Bro and he lives in a little outlet cubby just outside my kitchen. He’s big and black and speedy, so after a couple terrifying attempts at killing him I decided we could live and let live. He only comes out later at night so I don’t see him often, and he’s kind of a homebody in his little cubby, so he’s a pretty easy neighbor to get along with. Calling him “Spider Bro” somehow helps me feel better about this whole thing. I think this “immersion therapy” might be working…but probably not.

4. One mom’s nightmare is a toddler’s fantasy.

I sometimes really hate living in a barn with a horse stall for a kitchen, a studio-esque living/play/dining/bedroom combo, only one partially finished bathroom that’s all the way downstairs (while living with a freshly potty trained toddler), crummy heating, and unfinished floors. But my boys loooove it! Silas in particular thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. Every time we’re out and I tell him it’s time to go home, he gets so excited and says, “The barn is our home!”

My little ones constantly remind me to loosen up and be okay with our current circumstances, and to even have fun with this unexpected adventure! They don’t even recognize this as some in between, temporary situation. They see it as amazing and fun and exciting, which really helps me to have a better perspective on things.

5. When you are where God wants you to be, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

My husband used to be a software engineer for the biggest company in medical software, followed by some prestigious startups in the Seattle area. We had a beautiful (expensive) two story 3b2.5ba home. We were living the life that the world tells us we should want: the dream everyone wishes for. It was the life we thought we wanted and had worked toward for years…but something was missing. Something wasn’t right. We were constantly stressed and at each other’s throats; my husband was exhausted and overworked and micromanaged. We dealt with serious mental health issues and brokenness. It was just not where we were supposed to be, and it took some hard losses for us to realize that.

Josiah now works for a small town plumbing company. Several steps backwards according to the world’s perspective? Sure. But God has obviously called us to this community. He has called Josiah to this administrative, blue collar trade job. He has called our family to this barn. In the words of my almost three-year-old, “The barn is our home,” and I haven’t felt this at home in a long time. I really believe that is because we are where God wants us to be, and there is nothing better than knowing you are where God wants you.

Have you had a similar experience recently? How has God shown you a plan you never would have expected that’s exactly what you needed?